Thursday, November 14, 2013

All's Fair in Love and War

"All's fair in love and war."

You wanna play dirty? I can play dirtier.
You wanna hook up with a new girl every weekend to make me jealous, then make me feel guilty about not wanting you? Well that's pathetic, and I won't stoop that low.

I will go for someone that will make me happy. I will always have lingering thoughts of John in the back of my mind. But one thing is for sure and that is that Patrick Clark will NEVER get another chance.
Instead, I am going on a date with Cale to make John and Patrick jealous. It's not a totally corrupted idea since Cale is one of my best friends...right? Well I seem to think so.

Patrick's list of hook ups since July:

  • Jacki
  • Meagan
  • Steph
  • Maddy
  • me (omg what a mistake)
  • Kendall
  • Maddy (again--AND she cheated on her boyfriend with Patrick)
Ew, right?

Cale is a man whore, but I know he has a crush on me, so he'll treat me right. John is still my perfectly pictured boyfriend (despite our less than mediocre relationship) because I know him well enough to still have faith in him, but everyone else deserves a chance too.

So I guess we'll see who my 'final' suitor will be: Cale, Patrick, or John.
Jealousy will come into play, but so will my attitude. And no one will put me down this time. The game is all under my control whether they like it or not.

All's fair in love and war, so game on bitches. I'm here to win.

-Bella Ragazza

Sweet Fucking Karma

For confidentiality purposes (and since I will probably blow up on a rant about him) we will call him John. His name is nowhere near the name John, and John is a classy name, so hey it works right?

Anyways, breaking it down, I realize that I was a little less than rational when it came to my relationship with him. He built me up, only to tear me back down. But, I set myself up for it. Quite frankly, he could've had any girl in the school, but he wanted me because I was "different" from the other girls. "Different" sounds like I was some weird hippie granola from Boulder, but I think he meant it in the way that I was calm around him. I was calm, serene, relaxed, and myself around him. Getting comfortable was the easy part, but keeping it a relaxed relationship with two naturally energetic people is easier said than done. When two people are outgoing, friendly, and fun to be around, chances are they have a posse that follows their every move. Not that I blame the failure of our whole relationship on friends getting in the way, but that definitely played a big role in the termination of our relationship.

Hoes get in the way. For example, the new girl from Virginia Beach. We'll just call her Virginia. She had a boyfriend back home on the coast, and out in Colorado, she still flirted with anything and anyone with a dick. Guess who flirted back? FREAKING JOHN. While I was standing hand in hand next to him, he would wink at her, laugh, and make jokes with her to the point where I looked like the bitch who explode. So that slut Virginia is actually slut and a hoe and every bad female word in the book. Lets just say she's "all of the above". Needless to say, even though its been close to a year since my last bitch to slut encounter with Virginia, I am not a member of her fan club.

Okay, also, is it just me who gets beyond frustrated and annoyed when you suspect something is going on behind your back? For example, I accused John of cheating with this blonde mega slut (we'll call her Jessica) and he got SUPER offended. But hey guess what? We broke up two weeks later, and two weeks after that, HE GOES ON A DATE WITH JESSICA. Like, hell no, you skank. I think I should've been more mad at John for being an evil snake, but all I was mad about was Jessica. That made John look even worse in my eyes though. I accuse him of cheating, and then just a few weeks after we break up, you guys hook up on New Years, then eventually start dating. Congrats to them for dating for almost 10 months, but I'm more excited about the fact that they broke up and she broke HIS heart.

I call that sweet fucking karma. "Hey John, how do you like that? Now do you know what you did to me?" haha yeah that's what I thought.

Now he knows how I felt- broken, shattered, lost.


There is something quite satisfying about watching the one who broke you struggle and lose everything that once meant anything to them.

I know I may pay for this when I'm older and wiser, but for now, it feels good.

That's what I call sweet, fucking karma.

-Bella Ragazza

Saturday, October 19, 2013

A Condensed Sob Story

Think back to the first boy or girl you started to fall for and exactly how you felt. The butterflies you got, the feeling of everlasting happiness whenever you were together, the smile that slowly crept from one cheek to another- all signs of change. This change is thrilling, exciting, and unlike any other feeling. 

Then, they lose interest, so you start to make adjustments so you're noticeable once again. You change yourself SO much that you lose sight of who you really are. You change for good. 

And to think, all of this "change" is for someone who could blink and instantaneously forget about your existence.

Love can change a person. Hate can change a person. How you display yourself can soon turn into how you actually are as a person. 

I was once a normal girl. Then I met him, and my world flipped. I was head over heels for a boy who forgot my name moments after I introduced myself. So, I changed myself in attempt to grab his attention. It's a vicious cycle that no one can explain, yet we still put ourselves out there, knowing we'll get hurt.

A condensed sob story:
I met him.
He got my attention. 
I got his attention. 
I got him.
I fell in love with him. 
He didn't love me back.
He left me.
He broke me.
I changed for good. 

-Bella Ragazza